I was sixteen. You were nineteen and the good friend of a friend.<\/p>\n
We spent the night fooling around. First at the party. Then at my house.<\/p>\n
You threw the\u00a0condom onto the roof of the shed outside my window. I cursed, you laughed.<\/p>\n
Then at your house, we fucked in your basement. I remember it was pretty great.<\/p>\n
The next morning, we sat on either sides of the couch watching The Transfomers: The Movie<\/em> while we ate overly-sweet cereal.<\/p>\n \"Come here,\" you said, putting your bowl down. I was curious and hopeful. I found you attractive.<\/p>\n You had me lie on the couch next to you, and you took up a pillow and put it over my face. Pressed down. Hard.<\/p>\n I struggled.<\/p>\n You lifted the pillow and looked at me, your dark eyes wide and innocent.<\/p>\n \"It's ok,\" you said. \"Don't fight it.\"<\/p>\n The pillow came down again. I couldn't breathe.<\/p>\n I pushed it away when I got my hands under it.<\/p>\n \"Don't you understand?\" you said with a gentle smile. \"Just... trust me. Don't fight it. Come on...\"<\/p>\n This time the pillow pressed harder against my face, and I had to buck with all my strength to be free.<\/p>\n I stood panting in the middle of the living room as you took up your bowl of cereal and turned your attention back to the TV.<\/p>\n I left. Ran down the street. Feet striking the pavement, lungs burning.<\/p>\n ...<\/p>\n ...<\/p>\n ...<\/p>\n It was only when I finally slowed, finally leaned down, hands to knees, gulping in air, that I realized just how excited I felt.<\/p>\n I wasn't afraid.<\/p>\n Not of you.<\/p>\n I was afraid of the desire that coursed through me at the thought of relinquishing control.<\/p>\n Were you\u00a0trying to kill me?<\/p>\n What if I had stayed and submitted?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was sixteen. You were nineteen and the good friend of a friend. We spent the night fooling around. First at the party. Then at my house. You threw the\u00a0condom onto the roof of the shed outside my window. I cursed, you laughed. Then at your house, we fucked in your basement. I remember it was pretty great. The next morning, we sat on either sides of the couch watching The Transfomers: The Movie while we ate overly-sweet cereal. “Come here,” you said, putting your bowl down. I was curious and hopeful. I found you attractive. You had me lie … <\/p>\n