{"id":3232,"date":"2019-01-30T17:16:16","date_gmt":"2019-01-30T22:16:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beydeckard.com\/blog\/?p=3232"},"modified":"2022-08-04T16:15:01","modified_gmt":"2022-08-04T20:15:01","slug":"taden-and-i-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Taden and I &#8211; Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>Author\u2019s Note:<br>This is an unedited, ongoing serial that may eventually be published in novel form. Plot\/characters\/elements are  subject to change as it is being written. <strong>Read at your own discretion and take note of story tags below<\/strong>.<\/em><br><br><strong>Genre:<\/strong> Historical Fantasy <br><strong>Tags:<\/strong> general abuse, sex acts, age gap, bisexual, master\/servant, angst, archaic terminology\/style<\/p>\n\n\n<ul id=\"menu-taden\" class=\"menu\"><li id=\"menu-item-4648\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-4648\"><a href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-1\/\">Part 1<\/a><\/li>\n<li id=\"menu-item-4649\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-4649\"><a href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-2\/\">Part 2<\/a><\/li>\n<li id=\"menu-item-4650\" class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-4650\"><a href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-3\/\">Part 3<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>We stared at each other for long enough that I found myself\nbecoming uneasy, but I took a step towards him. It frustrated me that I could\nnot read any <em>intent<\/em> in his eyes. Was\nhe even truly glad I was returned? I took another small step that brought our\nnoses nearly to touching. I felt my eyes would cross from the effort of holding\nhis gaze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou will do anything I command?\u201d I asked quietly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOf course, my lord.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The ten-year-old boy inside me was aghast at my challenging nature\u2014he wanted only to be taken up and comforted by the warrior who had loved him so simply and steadfastly. But the man I had become stood in the boy\u2019s stead, trying vainly not to gulp in greedy breaths of Taden\u2019s scent. We stood so close I could feel the warmth of his body in the air between us, and he smelled of smoke and leather, a scent so familiar that it made my heart ache and my resolve weaken. I had intended to order him to do something humbling to prove his obeisance to me\u2014to prostrate himself or kiss my unshod foot\u2014but my heart begged a different path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI command you to tell me the truth, no matter what I ask,\u201d\nI said, allowing myself to turn away and break the steel grip of his gaze. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOf course, my lord,\u201d he repeated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hated the sound of those words. That he should make\nhimself into a meek drudge, bowing and scraping to me as he had my father\u2026 I\nwas embarrassed for him and I wanted an end to the charade, but the questions\nof the past needed to be answered as only a servant can answer his master. Or\nso it seemed to me. I turned to look at him again, to shrewdly judge the truth\nof his answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDid you have any desire for me, last we saw each other?\nTell me true, Taden.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Taden\u2019s eyes widened and his pale brow wrinkled at my\nquestion. I could see I had provoked shock, but\u2026 had I witnessed a moment of\nhesitation before the expression took hold of his features? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAnswer me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou were a boy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI was. And a boy with his pert backside wiggling over your\nlap\u2026 did that <em>please<\/em> you? My hands\nupon your face, my fingers on your lips, your mouth open to my touch\u2014you say I was\na boy, but these liberties you allowed me, were they <em>truly<\/em> for the sake of innocent, childish play?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYes!\u201d Taden replied immediately, his tone harsh and eyes like\ndagger points. Obviously, my words had disturbed him and I cannot say whether\nthis brought me relief or disappointment. Perhaps both. I made my smile a\nlittle mocking and retreated from him another step, crossing my arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou did not do it for the sake of your own pleasure?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo! Of course not,\u201d Taden said. \u201cI would never\u2026 my lord.\u201d The title was hastily tacked on when he evidently remembered who he was speaking with. \u201cIt was only teasing play.\u201d He looked down at the curled toes of his high black boots. Though his hair was worn in the same style it always had been, straight and sheared off at his jaw, it was no longer the dark slate it had once been\u2014bright silver threaded through it now. In the dying sunlight it hung like shields of polished iron to either side of his face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I lowered my voice, discarding the authority in it so he might\nspeak plainly with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDo I please you now?\u201d My heart began pounding the instant I\nsaid the words. I\u2019d pictured myself saying something similar, so many times,\nbut the reality of the moment was even more frightening and exciting than I\u2019d imagined.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Taden glanced up. \u201cMy lord?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIf you dandled me on your lap now\u2026 would it be innocent\nstill?\u201d My breath was coming out in short puffs and my face felt warm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Expression wary, Taden stared at me in silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cCome, sit, and we\u2019ll see what happens.\u201d I tried to summon the\ncharming grin that seemed always to draw the fish to my hook like magic, but it\nfelt diminished as he continued to glare at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI can make it an order,\u201d I warned, my impatience making me\nchurlish. It was going all wrong, the moment fleeing from my control. For\npossibly the first time in my life, I had no idea how to take back the reins. I\nneeded mending words, not this clumsy attempt to force him into the plot of my\nfantasies. \u201cYou loved me as a little boy\u2026 could you not let that love grow for\nthe man I am today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re a child still,\u201d he said, his eyes on mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was a slap in the face. \u201cI am not a child!\u201d I exclaimed, angered by the condescension I thought I could hear in his voice. \u201cDo you <em>know<\/em> how many I\u2019ve bedded? Does a<em> child<\/em> get his cocked sucked dry, morning and night?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m well aware of what you\u2019ve been up to.\u201d While his\nsubservience had finally vanished as I\u2019d wanted it to, I now wished it hadn\u2019t. \u201cYou\u2019re\na spoiled little boy, Wulfsere. Your aunt and uncle were far too lenient with\nyou, letting you run around like a barkhorse in rut, embarrassing yourself\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c<em>Embarrassing<\/em> myself?\nIt\u2019s <em>you<\/em> who should be embarrassed. A\nman past his prime, a broken-down old warrior reduced to a lowly servant. Have you\nno <em>pride<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Taden\u2019s spine stiffened at my outburst and I saw his\nnostrils widen as he took a few deep breaths. I couldn\u2019t help but remember how\nI used to place my finger on the tip of his nose to rest on that small divot. I\nfelt like everything was broken and wrong\u2026 and it was his fault. Or was it\nmine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With gaze and voice softened, Taden said, \u201cWulfie, my life\nis yours. I will gladly protect and serve you, as I did your father. I\u2019m <em>proud<\/em> to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThen keep your eyes down and don\u2019t presume to speak to me\nso.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYes, my lord.\u201d Taden stared down once more at his boots,\nhands clasped in front of him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>His calling me by my childhood nickname only stoked my\nindignation\u2026 yet\u2026 I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see the bitter\ntears that were threatening. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLeave me. And don\u2019t come back until I\u2019ve summoned you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There was a moment of silence before he replied, and I could\nfeel his bewilderment. He had slept on the small cot in my father\u2019s room for\ntwenty years, if not more, and now I was banishing him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYes, my lord,\u201d he said quietly. I heard the door close and\nI fell forward onto the bed, covering my head with a pillow. I felt honestly ashamed\nof how I\u2019d acted and dreaded our next encounter. I wanted to run to him, beg\nhim for forgiveness, but that would mean admitting that he was right about me.\nAnd he <em>wasn\u2019t.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cStupid, stupid, stupid\u2026\u201d I muttered into the blankets. <em>How am I to undo what I did?<\/em> <em>Maybe I shouldn\u2019t try. Maybe it\u2019s for the\nbest. Why should I care?<\/em> <em>Gods, he\nlooked fit and handsome<\/em>\u2026 I thought. Just as I\u2019d remembered him, with his\nbattle scars crisscrossing his alluringly unbearded face, his broad shoulders\nand long-fingered hands. I groaned and turned onto my back, staring at the\npainted ceiling. It was a scene from history. Something about an improbable harvest\nor maybe a drought\u2014I couldn\u2019t remember the details. I probably hadn\u2019t been\npaying attention in my lessons that day, though when had I ever? Sighing, I sat\nup and eyed the cot next to the great bed, with its unadorned grey blanket and small\npillow, my thoughts returning to Taden. I knew I couldn\u2019t very well avoid the\nman forever, he was my body servant after all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I decided to let a few days slip by before calling him to my\nside again. No need to say anything about what had transpired\u2014perhaps he\u2019d attribute\nmy behaviour to travel weariness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Satisfied with my decision, I stood and straightened my\nclothes, turning my mind to a more pressing matter. I opened the door to my\nchambers and peeked out into the hallway, hoping that Taden hadn\u2019t defied me by\nstaying close by. When I saw it was empty, I began wandering the corridors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On my second circuit of the upper east wing, I found what I was\nlooking for. Two tapermaids were starting to light the long line of candles in\nthe darkening gloom. When they saw me, they stopped and bowed very low.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo need for that,\u201d I said in a gentle voice. \u201cRise. Let me\nsee you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nervously, the two young ladies straightened. One was a\nlowland girl with blond hair and pink cheeks, the other black-haired with skin even\ndarker than my own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh my. What a pair of beauties you are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The tapermaids shared a glance, giggling timidly before\ndropping into brief curtsies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThank you, milord.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My gaze settled on the blonde first, then her raven-haired friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNow, I have a little request: could one of you accompany me\nto my rooms? Your lord has a\u2026 uh\u2026 very <em>large<\/em>\ncandle that he can\u2019t handle on his own\u2026 it needs the attention of someone who\nhas experience handling such things.\u201d I grinned. \u201cWhich one of you would like\nto help me, hm?\u201d I reached out and gently pinched the blonde\u2019s chin. \u201cWill it\nbe you, my dear?\u201d She blushed and giggled again, music to my ears. \u201cOr, shall\nit be you, my darling?\u201d I said, taking the other young woman\u2019s hand to bestow a\nkiss upon her dimpled knuckles. \u201cOr\u2026 perhaps the both of you would like to <em>come<\/em> with me?\u201d I raised an eyebrow. \u201cWould\nyou like to help your lord? Hm?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYes, milord,\u201d they both said with an eagerness that excited me. What a perfect distraction they were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh good,\u201d I replied. \u201cCome with me, my beloveds\u2026 let us go\nsee to this problem\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWhat about thar candles inny hallway, milord?\u201d the dark-haired\nwoman asked timidly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThey can wait. I <em>am<\/em>\nyour lord, and your lord\u2019s needs cannot wait.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYes, milord.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n<ul id=\"menu-taden-1\" class=\"menu\"><li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-4648\"><a href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-1\/\">Part 1<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-4649\"><a href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-2\/\">Part 2<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-4650\"><a href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-3\/\">Part 3<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We stared at each other for long enough that I found myself becoming uneasy, but I took a step towards him. It frustrated me that I could not read any intent in his eyes. Was he even truly glad I was returned? I took another small step that brought our noses nearly to touching. I felt my eyes would cross from the effort of holding his gaze. \u201cYou will do anything I command?\u201d I asked quietly. \u201cOf course, my lord.\u201d The ten-year-old boy inside me was aghast at my challenging nature\u2014he wanted only to be taken up and comforted by &#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more-container\"><a title=\"Taden and I &#8211; Part 2\" class=\"read-more button\" href=\"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-2\/#more-3232\" aria-label=\"Read more about Taden and I &#8211; Part 2\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"generate_page_header":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[72],"tags":[304,116,817],"class_list":["post-3232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-beys-tales-writing-2","tag-bisexual","tag-fantasy","tag-milord"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/castle.jpg?fit=1282%2C530&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4sexs-Q8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4859,"url":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/the-mix-up-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":3232,"position":0},"title":"The Mix-Up","author":"Bey","date":"November 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Whistling softly to himself, Jacob locked the door and crossed the street to wait for his lift. If only he\u2019d get that damn promotion, they\u2019d be able to afford a second car\u2014Karen\u2019s new schedule was great\u2026 for her. Not so much for him. He jingled his keys in his pocket\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bey's Tales&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bey's Tales","link":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/category\/writing-2\/beys-tales-writing-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Mix-Up.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Mix-Up.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Mix-Up.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Mix-Up.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Mix-Up.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1083,"url":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/rice-is-nice\/","url_meta":{"origin":3232,"position":1},"title":"Rice is Nice","author":"Bey","date":"April 25, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"David reached for the old black switch with the cracked faceplate and flipped it up. The fluorescent lights below flickered on with a soft hum, but over that he thought he could hear the sounds of breathing. Descending the worn wooden steps slowly, David took his time, savouring the anticipation.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bey's Tales&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bey's Tales","link":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/category\/writing-2\/beys-tales-writing-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/chained-boy-edit.jpg?fit=1000%2C685&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/chained-boy-edit.jpg?fit=1000%2C685&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/chained-boy-edit.jpg?fit=1000%2C685&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/chained-boy-edit.jpg?fit=1000%2C685&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3834,"url":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/the-making-of-a-king\/","url_meta":{"origin":3232,"position":2},"title":"The Making of a King","author":"Bey","date":"July 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"(From a dream) As another man took his place between Artur\u2019s legs and began thrusting, Artur suppressed a sigh, staring at the murals that covered every inch of the vaulted ceiling. Saints and angels, kings and queens, all painted in a near-lifelike manner, conspired and feasted and fought in bright\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bey's Tales&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bey's Tales","link":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/category\/writing-2\/beys-tales-writing-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/king.png?fit=1000%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/king.png?fit=1000%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/king.png?fit=1000%2C750&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/king.png?fit=1000%2C750&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3139,"url":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":3232,"position":3},"title":"Taden and I &#8211; Part 1","author":"Bey","date":"January 5, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Taden was my father\u2019s body servant and guard, and my favourite person in the entire world. He was fascinating\u2014a foreigner from a faraway land of volcanos and long nights. A warrior among his people. A battle-hardened man\u2026 and as fond of me as I was of him. As a young\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bey's Tales&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bey's Tales","link":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/category\/writing-2\/beys-tales-writing-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/castle.jpg?fit=1200%2C496&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/castle.jpg?fit=1200%2C496&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/castle.jpg?fit=1200%2C496&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/castle.jpg?fit=1200%2C496&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/castle.jpg?fit=1200%2C496&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3432,"url":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/taden-and-i-part-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":3232,"position":4},"title":"Taden and I &#8211; Part 3","author":"Bey","date":"April 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"It had been over a week since my return and still I had not called Taden to my side. I had seen little of the man, busy as I was finding ways to shirk my newfound duties, and that suited me just fine. You\u2019re still a child. His words were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bey's Tales&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bey's Tales","link":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/category\/writing-2\/beys-tales-writing-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3297,"url":"https:\/\/beydeckard.com\/blog\/the-wanderer-part-seven\/","url_meta":{"origin":3232,"position":5},"title":"The Wanderer &#8211; Part Seven","author":"Bey","date":"February 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Despite Pytre not weighing more than my right leg, I\u2019m gasping for breath by the time I reach the hostel. I have to shift him in my arms to reach the keypad, and he nearly slips out of my hold when I push the door open with my shoulder. 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